Dealing With The Change.....!
In a world where it’s seems easy to see the downside to all the
economic
and environmental changes that we are facing we are encouraged not
to complain and take responsibility with sayings like, “When I change the
world changes” and “Be the change you want to see in the world” and “Change
begins with me!”. But we are usually left with more questions like
why and what and how...exactly? WHY do I have to change in order to
make the world a better place? Surely it’s not just up to me!
And WHAT exactly is it that we need to change? And HOW and WHERE
precisely do we start? And WHICH world exactly - the big wide world
or my little world? WHO has the instruction manual? And WHY have
those who say they have already started made so little difference?
Change happens on three levels. First - within our self, over
which we have total control. Second - in the thoughts and behaviours
of others, over which we have no control, but perhaps some influence.
And third - in the big wide world out there, over which we have no control
and almost no influence.
In the last twenty years the ‘change management’ industry has
spawned an army of consultants and trainers whose mission is to help us
to...manage change! However, in most instances, ‘change management’
is an oxymoron simply because when the rubber hits the road any change
process in the world cannot be managed (where managed generally infers
controlled) only guided or influenced at best.
Obvious Truth
It seems an obvious truth that we can never control any event in the
world more than three feet away from us. We certainly cannot change
other people. And yet, if we were to take a moment to do some
detective work on the cause of almost all our feelings of stress we would
find they arise because we are trying to control what we can never control i.e.
the world and other peoples behaviour.
The Enlightened Soul
It is an enlightened soul who has realised this, which is why they
can appear somewhat ‘other worldly’ as they never react emotionally to any
event or anyone else’s behaviour. They have seen within their own
inner world that any kind of ‘emotional reaction’ is a sign that they have
lost control of themselves. They are aware that their emotions have
been triggered, kicked in and taken over because they are still operating
from the old belief that the world and those around ME should ‘dance to MY
tune’!
It is an enlightened soul who has realised that it’s not
what happens in the world out there that makes me feel this way; it’s what
I do with the world out thre ‘in here’ that makes me feel this way!
And what we do with the world ‘out there’ begins with our perception ‘in
here’. Our perception is our creation, so in a real sense we are
creating the world at every moment. And what shapes our
perception? Mostly it’s our beliefs. If you believe the world
is a ‘dark and dangerous place’ you will more likely perceive scenes and
situations as a threat. Your thoughts and feelings will contain some
form of fear and your actions in life are likely to become detrimental to
your happiness. Whereas if you believe the world is an ‘adventure
playground’ you will see most situations and circumstances as an
opportunity to be creative and playful, your thoughts and feelings will be
joyful, and a steady state of happiness will more likely be your daily
‘insperience’.
So in a world of rampant change how are we to deal with what is not
in our control? We know change is inevitable but we don’t know
precisely how it will happen. No one teaches us how to prepare for
the unknown, so perhaps there are just three questions we need to
ask. Are you READY? Are you WILLING? Are you ABLE?
Are you READY?
The first principle of ‘change readiness’ lies in an easy to
understand but hard to practice insight which reminds us that, “I cannot
control anything or anyone in the world, all I can do is control my response to
others and the world”. When fully inculcated this basic truth begins
to restore our self mastery if only because we stop trying to change others
in order to serve our personal agenda. This sets us free from the energy
draining futility of constant failure. It’s a failure that few of us
notice as we don’t realise that most of our stressful feelings (towards
others and the world) are really a sign we are trying to do what is
impossible i.e. change others! However, it’s hard to practice until
we set our self free from the illusion that others are responsible for our
happiness.
When the urge to try to change others and the world diminishes we
are able to realise and practice the ‘wisdom of acceptance’. That
means fully accepting the way people are, and the way the world is, at any
given moment. This starts to free our consciousness of our
emotionally reactive habits. Our inner peace is restored and it’s in
this calm state that we are able to reflect and give our self the chance to
see clearly and deeply the ‘patterns of change’ in the world around us both
close and far. This is the foundation of ‘foresight’ and the ability
to ‘anticipate’ the changes that are coming. If we don’t step off our
treadmill of constant mental and emotional activity we deny our self the
time and space to reflect and ‘anticipate’ future change. We are then
unable to discern what will be required to respond to what may be hurtling
towards us!
Each of us will find our own level at which we are inclined to
‘reflect’. Some will explore ‘what’s changing’ close to home, perhaps
at work, perhaps within their industry. Others will be drawn to
reflect at a global level as they intuit the patterns of change in the
wider world that are going to affect us all in all corners.
For example, the Bermuda Triangle is a place where boats and planes
mysteriously disappear, never to be found again. As a metaphor
for living in a changing world our personal Bermuda Triangle is known as
Food, Shelter and Clothing. This is where most of our ‘money’
continues to disappear in ever increasing amounts! The modern Bermuda
Triangle, where huge chunks of ‘time’ now seems to disappear for a whole
generation, is Email, Facebook and Twitter! But the Bermuda Triangle
that is about to transform all our lives, wherever we live in the world, is
Energy, Economy and Environment. Many now say it’s where our current
‘lifestyle’ is about to disappear! To see how this may take
place requires quiet, undisturbed reflective time, so that we may see the
relationship and interconnections between these three global change factors
and how they will cascade down into our personal lives. Only then can
we get a more accurate sense of what we need to do to prepare.
Are You WILLING?
It’s fairly obvious that if we fight any changes in the world
itself, either mentally or physically, we only create stress for our self
and drain our own energy. In the context of our relationships any
stressful feelings that we have towards another means we are in a state of
resistance to them. It means we want them to change first.
Whereas the wisdom of working with any energy that comes towards us is to
embrace it and catch it’s momentum thereby giving our self a) the
opportunity to use its momentum to our advantage and b) ‘influence’ its
direction further down the road. This is the Wisdom of the Judo
Master i.e. to embrace whatever comes, combined with the Wisdom of the
Surfer i.e. to ride the waves.
We often resist someone we don’t like or disapprove of and the
relationship becomes stuck. But if we can put a metaphorical arm
around them, walk with them, listen to them, gain their trust and respect,
we remain stress free and the opportunity to influence them will inevitably
arise. We only have to let go of trying to fix, alter or control
them...in our own minds. We only have to make the inner shift from
resistance to acceptance (which doesn’t mean approval or agreement).
This frees up our willingness to embrace, which in turn releases our creativity
so we can make a creative contribution to the situation. It’s that
creative spark that then ignites our enthusiasm. And the two most
powerful influences upon any change pattern or process in the world are
creativity and enthusiasm.
The one thing that sabotages these two attributes of the ‘change
agent’ is fear. Fear is always the projection of possible loss in the
future. It’s our fears that we have ‘to manage’ in any change
management strategy. This is when change management becomes self
management. We can only change or control our own thoughts and
feelings. Fear sabotages our self control as it paralyses our
creativity and siphons off our enthusiasm. This explains why many
appear to be willing to deal with change, even embrace change ...at first!
But once they see how it may threaten to inflict some loss the willingness
then dissipates, fear kicks in and then finds expression as
resistance. Eliminating our fears is not so easy as it requires the
realisation that we have absolutely nothing to lose...ever! Simply
because, in truth, nothing can ever be ‘possessed’.
Are You ABLE?
There are many skills and capabilities that we can develop to
‘enable’ us to deal with a changing world. Being resilient when that
changing world serves up ‘the unexpected’ means being able learn from
adversity, apply the learning quickly and bounce back strongly. The
capacity to stay light and optimistic, to forgive easily, turn any apparent
problems into opportunities, help others and inspire others, are all recognised
competencies of the change agent. But it still leaves us with one
particular question.
What gives us the capability to meet all forms and all levels of
change with an indestructible equanimity? How can we remain ‘chilled’
at the coal face of a rampantly changing world?
The wheel is always a good metaphor to remind us of how to position
our self relative to what is apparently going on around us. If we
live only on the surface of our life it’s like being on the outer rim of
the wheel. We feel we are rushing through life and that life is
rushing past us! Occasionally, and perhaps frequently, we will feel
we are being adversely bumped and buffeted by events. Dealing with a
changing world, locally or globally, then becomes energy sapping. But
if we can get to the centre of the wheel we find a stillness and a calmness
that allows us to ‘observe’ the rising and falling, the ebbing and flowing,
the ever revolving and evolving dramas of daily life around us. From
this ‘centredness’ we don’t waste or lose our energy. We can also
sense when to travel down one of the spokes of our metaphorical wheel and
participate in certain scenes and situations, for however long or short
that we feel appropriate.
It’s in this centredness that we find our deepest and most natural
state, which is one of silence and stillness. This is the place, the
‘inner space’ of the self, that never changes. It’s our addiction to
the stimulations of a changing inner and outer world that keeps us from
being still. When we re-master the ability to ‘be in’ our natural
still state we regain access to our inner peace and inner power. That
is what gives us both the stability and the ability that we need to deal
with whatever the world may throw at us.
Question: What are the key changes that you see are likely to impinge
on your life in the near future?
Reflection: What skills, qualities, abilities etc.
do you think you will need in order to navigate your way forward.
Action: Take five minutes three times every day this week and
practice slowing your mind and just being still. Notice the effect it
has on the quality of energy that you give to others.
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